The Syndicate Watches The Rambo Movie And Decides Even More Bodies Need To Hit The Floor
posted by Matt on January 31st, 2008 in Movies
Not sure if you want to see the new Rambo movie yet? We’ll tell you what you need to know. Now this isn’t one of those instances where we’ll watch it so you don’t have to. We’re telling you to watch the trailer a few times, the one with Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” playing in the background. Then once you are all hyped up singing “Let The Bodies Hit The Floo! Let The Bodies Hit The Floo!” like a ferret on Red Bull, you RUN and see this movie! Frankly, it’s the only way you will ever get the most rewarding experience possible.
A group of us saw the movie last night. We thought you’d benefit from our quick reviews in 100 words or less. But, to quote the kids from Reading Rainbow, “You don’t have to take our word for it.”
Jon Landman
Holy Crap, Stallone looks terrible; HGH & Steroids definitely don’t do the body good when you hit 63 years old. Rambo delivers on exactly what it promised from the previews and trailer. Killings, Shootings, More Killings and lots of bodies hitting the floor (although said song doesn’t actually appear in the movie = apparently the song was never a Nu-Metal hit in Burma). There is a loose plot and a classic John J. Rambo flashback sequence that was amazing. PLOT SPOILER AHEAD = Just Kidding. The enemy was destroyed and Rambo returns to America after years of being a confused killing machine.
Bram Teitelman
The Rambo movies had always held a mirror to society, whether it’s the Vietnam war (the first two), or Russia (the 3rd one). Now that we’re at a stalemate in Iraq, John J Rambo gives us a war we can win 20 years after the last flick hit theaters. The plot? Who cares, there’s killin’! After ferrying some Mission(aries) to Burma, instead of reaching for his revolver, Stallone reaches for his bow and arrow, knife, lots of high powered guns, and a nuclear warhead and rips someone’s throat out in a ballet of blood and gore. The first must-see of 2008!
Matt Kleinschmidt
Let the Midnight Meat Train hit the floor. Um, don’t bother looking for a plot for it was abandoned about 30 minutes into the flick. Right around the time Rambo decided that being a blacksmith and forging a knife makes you reflect upon your life of killing machine-ness. Evil dudes blow up, they get their throats ripped out, they have sex with young boys. Stallone shoots sterioids directly into his temples and is the “boat man.” In Burma it only rains at night and everything looks like your grandfather’s backyard. Also, in Burma, everyone comes out to fight to save the white lady but not the Burmese ones. Boom! Red Smoke!
Michelle Rakshys (who has already seen the movie twice!)
Sometimes a gal just isn’t in the mood for 27 Dresses, and would much prefer to watch limbs flying through the air. Luckily Rambo delivers those flying limbs, as well as headless bodies, and torsos with holes so big you can see more people getting killed on the other side. It also teaches us how to rip out a man’s throat with our bare hands, and how to blow-up tracking dogs. Who needs a plot line when there are more lessons than an episode of Man Vs. Wild? However, the mass amount of bloodshed overshadows many spoken gems, like “Live for nothing, die…for something”, which will surely end up as a bumper sticker or a commemorative t-shirt.
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I can’t tell if you are mocking Rambo or if you really like it. Rocky Balboa was really good, but I’ve never been a fan of Rambo
I’m glad I skipped out on this movie.
Franklin Comes Alive!
Rambo does rule like Grahambo does.
There is no way this movie is any good. At least this was a fun post.
I’d imagine Grahambo would look something like this.
http://www.grahambo.org